didn't know what I was doing, that would be just an excuse. I knew perfectly well that it was wrong, but I did it anyway. Out of these experiences came disgust, loss of self-respect, just deep down inside, I was sick of myself. These places I went to were the only places I knew of where I could go and not feel odd, but I was odd and I did not fit in there either.

I find that I can know and meet transvestites anyplace in the world, through your publication of Transvestia. To me this is one of the basic ways of relieving our guilt feelings. I mean getting rid of them all together. It is a realization that we are not alone and that we can have friendships and correspondence with happy and contented persons with the same thoughts and views. It means to me that I do not have to be an outsider or a loner any more.

I am now 24 years old and single. I am very grateful that I did not get married when I wanted to. The reason I wanted to get married was to cut down on my drinking, but I know now that it would only have prolonged my misery. The reason I am so grateful (referring to myself as a tranvestite) is that I would never have told the gal of my desire to wear feminine clothing. Now I know that I will never get married unless I can be accepted as I am. By reading your book I realized that there are ladies who will accept me.

I do not know whether I am an attractive transvestite or not, but I think I can be. If not I know what I am. I truly believe that I have accepted myself as a transvestite just as I have accepted myself as an alcoholic. In that I will always be this way. I really cannot describe acceptance, but to me it is an inner peace with myself and my God.

At one time I thought of becoming or wanting to become a trans-sexual. This I could never do, because I really believe that God put me on this earth for a reason, just the way I am. To me everything that God creates, you can always find beauty in. Now maybe I can radiate some of that beauty in a good way.

What I have said here is quite personal to me. I might have disqualified myself for Phi Pi Epsilon sorority. I surely hope not and I pray that I am accepted. As I need the fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous, I want and need the ladyship in Phi Pi

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